For a summer writing program I am trying to get into I had to respond to the word incognito. I knew that most people would write about being in hiding from the law, from murder or some other charge, but I wanted to go deeper, to better understand exactly what it means to be incognito. I have been having trouble writing lately, but finally, on the beach (by the bay), I wrote something worth reading. So please, tell me what you think. All thoughts and ideas are welcome.
As I sit on the beach and watch the sky fade from
orange to purple, I shed my costume. For a moment I am no longer bound by the
picture of perfection that is projected onto each and every one of us. For a
moment, I am content with myself, my own thoughts, my own feelings. I no longer
feel incognito, in disguise, as if I am hiding myself. Instead of reflecting
upon myself and feeling lost and confused I feel like I am proud of myself,
like I can grasp all that I am and have been. The sky is darker now, a deep
blue, the color of the depths of the bay that lap against the sand. Aside from
the lights of the city, I am alone with my own silent wonderings. To where my
friends have gone, I do not know, but I am glad for the chance to view myself
alone, and not in the jaded eyes of those who surround me. I’ve changed -we
have all changed- from innocent children to teenagers full of personality and
vigor. With this comes responsibility and secrets we are shielded from as
children. Be it the non-existence of Santa Claus, or the dark past of a
classmate, the simple knowledge of these things change us. Though mostly, it is
the judgment of others that changes me. I cannot stand to watch as I am made
fun of, I cannot ignore the words of my peers, my friends even. It is for this
reason that I draw my costume, a mask from all who judge me. And
now, I cannot even see what is before me, though I know what is there. It is
the same friendly beach I have sat upon to watch the sunset, though cold and
black as the rocks that sweep the tide. It is now that I slip back into my
costume, ready to return to a world of judgment. But somewhere, I know now,
there is always a place to shed your disguise.
